The winter that kept my fever all season
was the winter I saw the neighbor girl’s body
being taken from the house.
And who would have trusted
me murmuring in my sleep?
Who could know I felt I was drowning?
Who knew the sea-fear, the airlessness?
And she was with me as a figment
in my fever-haze: she was the fever;
she was the ocean, the ocean
I felt moving inside me all winter,
the ocean into which they threw our bodies
because (they thought)
it was what we wanted.
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